Scheduling Pain.

I spent three hours at Atlas Tattoo with Jen Billig finishing up a piece that has taken nearly two 1/2 years for me to complete. The actual piece is only about 10 hours total and worth about a down payment on a new car. I'm not saying this is the best expenditure to budget in but it's finished and now wisteria wraps around one shoulder and crawls across to wrap around the other. And I couldn't be happier the process is over.

Prior tattoos have been done on a whim and not so much as scheduled for completion. I can't say that I am a fan of scheduling tattoo appointments because the reality is, some days you just don't feel like you can bare any pain. Some days you can tough it out. Certainly, the older I get the more painful they are. These days, I am less concerned with being tough as not having to be tough if I don't want to. So when the tattooing process gets to hurting, I have a hard time not squirming.

Tattoo was one of my younger sisters first words. My mother has several: 4 pieces of flash art in random places on her body. She told me to never get tattoos in places that you couldn't hide them. I think this is great advice. Mine are all on my torso. My stepfather has tattoos all over his arms and torso as well. My other mother had tattoos all over her body from Jesus Christ on her forearm to the jumping dolphin on her calf. I have tried to maintain an organic theme in all of my adult work. But there is that god forsaken yin-yang sun looking business on my ankle that I don't regret, but certainly it isn't as pretty as the rest.

My intuition tells me that tattooing isn't as popular in other parts of the US. Particularly because I caused an accident in Kansas City, MO in 2001 when someone was rubbernecking at my lower back tattoo. At this point, I would like to disqualify it as a "tramp stamp" strictly due to its size. Tramp stamps, in my opinion are much smaller and typically tribal. I'm not a fan of the lower back tattoo, not even mine. SNL had a great skit one evening about the lower back tattoo eraser. I might add, I am also not particularly a fan of the term "tramp stamp".

So, some tips of advice and things to consider when scheduling an appointment to get tattooed.

1) Under no circumstances go out to drink excessively the night before. Not only does is SUCK to get a tattoo with any inkling of a hangover, you end up bleeding all over your artist and that's just rude.

2) Under no circumstances get drunk when you got to get a tattoo. Anyone who lets you get a tattoo when you're wasted is a dip ship and probably not the best person to get a tattoo from.

3) If you're going to get a tattoo, spend a little money. Getting a cheap tattoo is getting a cheap tattoo. You're going to have to look at that cartoon Tasmanian devil for the rest of your life. Get an artist who can put a real Tasmanian devil on you instead.

4) Eat a nice hearty meal about an hour before you go in. This way your not too bloated and you're not starving. Getting work done on an empty stomach is asinine.

5)Finally, don't just go to some joe-schmoe shop. Ask around, talk to people. Find out what style you like and find an artist whose work you admire. There are an abundance here in Portland and anybody at Atlas Tattoo is a good bet. I will also put in a good word for Matt, owner of Tiger Lily Tattoo.

6) Tattooing is pretty well regulated these days but if your tattooer doesn't pull needles fresh out of a new, sealed pack - I would think twice or get up and walk out.

And there is so much more. But enough for now. Happy tattooing.