The origination of the term "Booty Call" comes from the early 90's comedian, Bill Bellamy. A long gone washed up old fool. But oh, the terminology has stuck around (even if it dates you) and so I offer up my examination of "The Booty Call" and ask that you consider a response.
First, a snippet from Wiki, just to enlighten ya'll a bit as to the unofficial definition of the terminology offered up in the title of this blog. A booty call is "communication, or visitation made with the sole intent of engaging in sex..." Well duh, now that we've settled that, just a bit more:" In most instances, a booty call is made when the prospect of a traditional date is highly unlikely (e.g., late evening, after midnight or pre-dawn), thus making it obvious what the intent of the call is for. That being, mutual satisfaction outside a traditional relationship (with all its complexities and commitments)."
Ah. Perfect. That latter poignantly exemplifies the niceties of the "call and ask" for the "ass and dash". I know, that's not very lady like of me, but who ever said I was lady like. I mean, I'm from Milwaukie...
So the question has been rolled through many mouths since I came out way back in like 2003 (sure, way back) and the question remains: Do booty calls exist in the lesbian community? Can women or do women engage in sex without getting the slightest obsessive about the prospect of a blooming relationship? Can ladies partake in booty calls with one another without feeling the commitment hooks of fake porno nails pulling at their panties? Ew... I'm getting more crass by the moment. (We all know that those porno nails aren't very nice anyway so the analogy is quite fitting.)
Now, I'm no gold star lesbian. No, sorry if that is disappointing, but kudos (I think) to all of you who are. And for one long term of my straight single life, I engaged in a booty call 'situation' that lasted damn near five years, even traversing the I-5 corridor when I resided in Seattle. It was consistent, safe, reliable, included no adding of hash marks to the headboard, no confused emotions, very straight (in sexuality and in communication) forward.
What was so wonderful about this arrangement? The attraction and the uncommitted commitment. Yes, there is a kind of commitment to a booty call situation and that commitment is to talk about some things and not talk about others (discernable by the parties involved). Here's an example of how mine usually went down...
"Hey, are you going to be in town tonight?"
"Why, do you want to hook up for a bit?"
"Yeah, do you have some time?"
[Two second time negotiation here]
"Great, I'll see you then."
And this is how the lovin' ensues. Its evening, one of us drops in on the other, it happens and then we allow for sometime to chat and stay warm (also known as cuddling) and then, see ya, have a great night. On rare occasion, sleep overs, and on rarer occasions, last chance ass when the party is nearly over. You know, when all that hitting on others doesn't work out and you realize your trusty reliable booty call has experienced the same shafting (ew... horrible phallic reference). You see, you get on with the evening and everyone rests soundly. Is that so awful?
And although I have been in back to back relationships since I came out in 2003, I have yet to see or hear of this 'unicorn' (you know, imaginary, fictitious, fantasy) in the lesbian community. I've heard of nothing like this. The sexist remark would be that "women are more emotional than men and therefore can't engage in sex without emotional involvement" but I call bullshit because, well, I am a woman and have done so.
Don't jump to calling me slutty, I'm just sayin'...
And this isn't a rant to try and negotiate a booty call with anyone, so don't run too far with it or pass it off like a baton to another source, thank you very much. And I'm not looking for anyone to offer it up. I don't think.
I just want to know. Lady lovin' ladies: Does it happen? Can it happen? Has it happened? Would you do it? Would you not? Why? What are the expectations? Are there rules? Is there an application process?
Maybe in our community the technical term is called "polyamory". But seriously, I've had only one straight on-going booty call in my life and have not considered myself polyamorous, even if I was dating other people. I mean, who said anything about having amorous feelings about more than one person. There was usually one person for whom I had amorous feelings and my booty call, well. I liked my booty call and all, but not enough to say hey, lets get into a little more than this. And I think, he would've agreed.
So please, chime in. Had em'? Want em'? Confused? All ya'll that are reading be you hetero, homo, bi, gay, les, queer, poly. Christ, I don't care what you identify as, just tell me what you think about the good old fashioned (about 27 years old now) term of endearment that's enjoyable to theorize about: the booty call.
Posts
