In the Land of the Living: Of Energy and Intuition

In the land of the living, I'm sometimes overcome with bursts of sustained energy. I'm overcome with one right now and from where it's coming from I don't know, but I keep channeling it back out into thing that I love, goals to which I am aspiring, and communities who need it. If you ask me to get involved in something right now I'm bound to say yes. Yes even if I am not sure if I have the time, even if it's not practical to get involved, even if I won't have any energy for myself and my own basic needs. I do this because it's the only thing I know what to do; it's my duty to use this energy to create.

The feeling is incomprehensible; certainly articulating it is challenging. I envision where from body energy is originating and this energy isn't coming from inside of me. It seems to be pouring - like a waterfall - out of the universe. It moves right through me and out of my feet back into the earth. It seems to be coming from an abundant source - Makers Lake - and is being channeled through irrigation canals into fields where growth and regrowth can be continued.

While I am rolling in the good of this energy right now, I am also a skeptic of it. In the search for what it means I also wonder if it is a harbinger of disease. Is it a burst of energy before a slow destruction? Is this what a recurrence of cancer feels like before the crippling pain? Is that twinge in the upper right quadrant of my lungs heart burn or it is cells building and building upon each other. I tell you this because I'm certain I knew about the cancer being born in my body long before it was found and years before any symptoms were present. I felt a prolonged warmth in my abdomen four years before the doctors found the tumor. I'd been through several doctors offices in search of the source of this discomfort and heat, I had ultrasounds searching through tissue and no one could find the source of the heat that I anguished over for years. I knew - deeply - that change was on the horizon for my body; I couldn't get anyone to establish that the intuition was spot on. Science failed me until it was too late to salvage my whole self. I had to sacrifice in the name of survival.

So perhaps you can understand why I can't just allow the animal instinct in me to roll in this beautiful feeling. I keep investing in the goodness of this energy while I can, I answer its calls and listen to everything that is speaking to me for the message, but the skeptic lives on, wondering whether or not the underlying message is your time here is short, do all that you have dreamed and do all that can.

So I do. Until the message clearly restates the time is now for you.